Mystery Meat Microwave Stew

Mystery Meat Microwave Stew spooned

Mystery Meat Microwave Stew – what’s in it? well it’s a mystery so no-one will ever know, except for you. This is the kind of dish you’d serve when times are hard, when you may not have the luxury of the nicer cuts of steak or if you’ve got a thousand mouths to feed like say in a prisoner of war camp or perhaps a cheap holiday camp. Or you can cook this if someone’s been on safari and smuggled some exotic game through customs. The idea is you get any meat you can lay your hands on whether it be your favourite beef steak or bull’s balls, sheep’s ass or wild hedgehog belly, chop it up into little chunks and cook that protein down until it becomes a tasty and appetising, be it non-recognisable melange. The trick is to never tell your diners what it is until they’ve eaten it all up and are congratulating the chef. Then lie to them about what it was depending on what you think they want to hear so we end up with a scenario where everyone’s happy.

You’ll Need

  • Large microwave safe dish with lid
  • 750g of any kind of meat you can find (doesn’t have to be of one type, doesn’t have to be bought, can be hunted or trapped, must be fit for human consumption)
  • 1 tin of red kidney beans
  • 1 large onion chopped
  • 1 potato diced
  • 4 chopped carrots
  • 4 cloves garlic
  • 1/2 tbsp black pepper
  • 1 tbsp salt
  • 1 and 1/2 cups water


  1. Tip everything into the dish, stir and put on the lid.
  2. Cook on full power in the microwave for 30 mins.
  3. Remove from the microwave give it a stir
  4. Cook on full power in the microwave for another 30 mins, remove and stand for 5 minutes before serving.

To Serve

Mystery Meat Microwave Stew should be eaten with big hunks of bread and butter to allow your diners to mop up all of the lovely gravy it produces.

Mystery Meat Microwave Stew with bread

Mystery Meat Microwave Stew Tips

As I said earlier, mystery meat stew a la microwave can be made with any type of meat. Different meats however vary in tenderness and texture so you may have to adjust your cooking times to suit. Rhino ribs for example will take around 70% longer to cook than squirrel cutlets… Experiment.

You'll Need


Select your microwave oven's power to get the correct timing
Total Cooking Time = 0 mins, 0 secs

To Serve Mystery Meat Microwave Stew

Mystery Meat Microwave Stew Tips

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2 thoughts on “Mystery Meat Microwave Stew

  1. Why the emphasis on using parts of an endangered species, like “rhino ribs” or jokingly mention, smuggling bushmeat through customs ?
    It makes you appear like a child, trying to impress the nearby adults.
    Why not just show your recipes and how to put the meal together and leave it at that ?

    Anyway, thanks for putting in the effort.

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